God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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