I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
