we have pet lesbian snakes
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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