i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
