We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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