My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
