Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
