I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
