It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Green mimosas i think yes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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