I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
