my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
