I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
