ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
