It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
