alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
