He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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