oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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