Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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