yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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