I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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