does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
