ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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