A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
