We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
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