Small penises have feelings too.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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