The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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