Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
