definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
