I can text with my tongue
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
