But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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