is your mom at the bar?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
