so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
