Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sober January is a disaster.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
