our cab driver is having phone sex.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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