see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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