We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
