Heybabeimwearingurpanties
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
