You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
