Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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