I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
