I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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