who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
