just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
