a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ok first of all what the fuck
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
