Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
