I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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