Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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