"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
this will be a night to untag.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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