I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
