So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
