omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just found puke in my bra..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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