I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
