I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
