I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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