I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its not stalking. its research.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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