By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
