but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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