peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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