I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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