I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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