Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
