Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize